12 Years

During this past week, after the passing of our beloved, Prophet, I have taken the opportunity to reflect on the gospel and eternal families. It is a little ironic because today marks the 12th anniversary of the passing of my,own, mom. It is also a little ironic that President Hinckley was sustained as our Prophet less then a year before my mom passed away. When I look back over the past 12 years and all that has happened and changed in my life and what an influence both my mom and President Hinckley made on those 12 years can hardly be described, by me, in words, but I want to try so that I have this day recorded and I can remember how I felt this past week.

I was 16 years old and in my Junior year of high school. I am sure you can remember life in high school--carefree and exciting! The most important thing was your friends and what was going on that weekend. I was no exception and life was going pretty good. I had a wonderful and caring mom whom was my best friend and I talked to about everything. I also had a wonderful dad who worked hard for our family and made sure we were always taken care of. And, I also, had my two little sisters whom I loved very much.

Although, my dad was not active in the church, my mom took us each week. Both she and my dad thought it was important that we were raised in the Gospel despite my dad's lack of interest.

I spent most Sunday's at church, although my family lacked the priesthood in our home so I was never able to experience Family Home Evening, family scripture study, or the feeling of my parents attending the temple. I don't want to sound like I was deprived, because I knew then and I know now that my parents loved me with every ounce of their hearts and would do anything for me. I just didn't experience the Gospel the way a lot of my friends did growing up.

One Saturday morning--12 years ago, my entire life changed, as strange as it might sound, for the better. My mom had a heart attack and passed away immediately without any warning. The reason I say my life changed for the better because I was converted to the church through this experience, but more importantly my dad was converted to the church.

Suddenly, the most important thing in my 16 year old life was my family and being with them forever. I cannot express the love and admiration I have for my dad and the way he handled this tragic experience. Because of the choices my dad made, he and my mom were able to be sealed in the Logan Temple and our family was, also, sealed for all time and eternity a year later.

When my mom died, I felt like my life had started over. Everything was different. We worked as a family to pick up the pieces and move on the best we could. This is where President Hinckley was such an amazing influence on me.

Since I was only 16 and since the church wasn't too important in my home until my mom died, he was the first Prophet I really knew. I feel so blessed to have listened to this man during the hardest time in my life. Oh, how I love President Hinckley. He was such a incredible man and when he spoke I couldn't help but listen and soak up each word while the spirit burned within me the entire time.

Most of all, I am thankful for the Gospel. I am SO thankful I am sealed to my mom. I would rather have her with me forever than during this life and I feel like this is the path my family had to take to be together again.

Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if my mom hadn't passed away. I get a lot of comments from people like, "I can't believe you can do it without you mom," but what they don't understand is this is the way it needed to be for my family to be forever which is so much more important to me then having my mom here at my wedding or the birth's of my children.

The Gospel makes this all possible for me. I am so thankful to be married in the temple and to be sealed to my husband and children. It means more to me than my husband and kids will ever know because I know what it feels like not to be sealed to your family. That feeling is worse than any other.

When I heard about President Hinckley's death, I only felt a flicker of sadness and it was mostly for myself because I felt bad that I would no longer be able to listen to him speak anymore. More than anything, I felt happy that he is with his wife again--for I know with all my heart, that is where he would rather be then anywhere else. What an incredible reunion that must have been. It brings tears to my eyes to imagine what that would be like. It also excites me because I, too, will get my reunion, someday, and that is better than anything else I could ever imagine.