McDreamy

If you know me well, you know I'm a celebrity junkie.  I heart all things celebrity.  I have an "US Weekly" subscription I read cover to cover each week, an "US Weekly" app on my phone, record "E News" each week--the whole bit.  I talk about the Kardashian's like they are my friends.  I watch reality TV.  I love it.  There aren't many non-reality shows I watch, but "Grey's Anatomy" is one of them.

Throughout the past few days, I have thought about several episodes of "Grey's."  I mean, it really is my only knowledge of all this medical stuff going on with me.  When I got my MRI, I kept thinking about when they do that on the show.  When I spoke with several doctors I thought about the way they interacted with me and each other and how closely it resembles the doctors on "Grey's Anatomy."  Props to the writers of that show--they do a pretty good job.

Today was more than a perfect day.  I met my own, real life "McDreamy" (aka Derek Shepherd, the neurosurgeon, played by Patrick Dempsey on "Grey's.")  Peter Nakaji from "Barrow Neurosurgical Institute" is going to save my life.

After speaking with the neurosurgeon at the hospital I was diagnosed at, Matt and I were left feeling pretty hopeless that I would live a completely normal life again.  The surgeon was very diplomatic.  He gave me all the risks and laid it on the table for Matt and I to decide.  He was careful to protect himself and did not offer too much comfort.  He was not the surgeon for me and I knew that almost immediately.

I get that a neurosurgeon needs to state the risks of the surgery they are about to perform--they are cutting into your brain for crying out loud, but I need a surgeon that states the risks, but couples that with confidence and encouragement.  From the minute I was diagnosed, EVERYONE said I needed to be at "Barrow's."  Today I found out why.  "Barrow's" is the "Harvard" of Neurology.  Who wouldn't want the best of the best cutting into your brain?  

I had a day and half at home between being discharged from the hospital and my appointment this morning and have been flooded with hundreds and hundreds of texts, emails, comments and notes.  Everyone has been praying for me and my family, many have fasted and I am here to tell you all that Miracle #1 (the first of many) has already happened this morning.  I believe the Lord has answered these prayers and has been directing me and my life to this point for quite awhile now.  There are so many things--LITTLE things--that have lead me to the here and now.   

My appointment was early and for this I was grateful.  When my alarm went off at 5:15am, I popped out of bed like it was Christmas morning.  I had a date with destiny and did not want to be late!  Matt, Jess, Julie and I were on the road at 6:00am.  We traveled to downtown Phoenix quickly and were all nervously optimistic as we walked into the waiting room.

I filled out my paperwork and we were sent back to an examination room.  In walks Tammy, Dr. Nakaji's nurse practitioner.  I immediately liked her.  She was so warm and nice.  She asked for my "story" and her eyes filled with tears as we discussed how "rocked" our world has been these past few days especially because I have 5 small children.  We then asked her opinion of Dr. Nakaji.  Tammy's eyes filled with tears again as she expressed what an incredible man Dr. is.  She said we will definitely see for ourselves when we meet him.  A few short minutes later..."McDreamy" walked in.

Handsome, confident, kind and smart are the words to describe Dr. Nakaji.  I knew when he walked in the door, he was going to fix me and he was going to do it right.  It was an undeniable feeling, called the Holy Ghost, that spoke to not only me, but Matt, Jess and Julie in the same way.  Before meeting Dr. Nakaji, I kept telling people that I needed a surgeon who had the perfect amount of confidence.  Let's face it, if your confident enough to cut into a human's brain on a daily basis, you have to be confident, but I've met many, many OVERLY confident doctors in my day and I knew I didn't want that either.

Dr. Nakaji is confident yet comfortable.  He eats craniotomies for breakfast.  When he was explaining the procedure to me, it was the same way I'd tell a friend how to make a chocolate chip cookie (my specialty.)  He knows what he's talking about, he does it everyday--multiple times a day and he is comfortable doing this surgery.  He knows it.  

Even though he does these surgeries everyday, he did not make me feel like a "number"--another notch on his belt--he was VERY sympathetic to me and my situation and wants to get as much--if not all--of this tumor out, BUT maintain a very high quality of life for me.  Bottom line--he does not want me in a wheelchair and will do everything he can to prevent this.

So this is the plan...another MRI with brain "mapping" will take place early next week.  Mapping will be done to determine how close this tumor is to my motor strip (which controls my movements on the left side of my body.)  It will also determine whether or not I have an "awake" surgery.  All of this will be done in order for Dr. to cut out as much of the tumor as possible without interfering with my motor strip.  An "awake" surgery would be done so Dr. could ask me to move my arm, leg, etc during the surgery while he looks at my brain and determines how much of the tumor he can cut to , again, avoid interfering with that motor strip.

Following MRI mapping will be surgery--most likely in less than 2 weeks from now.  1 or 2 days in the ICU, a couple more in recovery and I'll be home unless I do have some paralysis in which case I will go straight to rehab and start working on regaining my strength in those affected limbs.  His goal is to get me home ASAP.  He believes patients do better when they get to go home and be where they are comfortable.

Dr. Nakaji spent over 30 minutes with us answering any and all of our questions.  He had an answer--a good one--for everything.  The four of us left the appointment beaming--does that really happen when you are talking about a brain tumor?!  It was amazing!!

My spirit is so high I feel like I am flying.  I already knew I'd beat this and now I have no doubt.  I have felt your prayers and I have needed them.  I still need them.  YOUR prayers are what sent me to "Barrow's", YOUR prayers are what fit me into Dr. Nakaji's schedule, YOUR prayers are helping me to smile and laugh with my family today like it is any other day.  For that, I thank you.  I love you.  Our Heavenly Father is blessing me immensely and I will be around to raise my babies!